Thavius Beck Sometimes
Sometimes I find life worth living
Like each breath is a gift wrapped with a ribbon
‘Cuz each date we shape fate with decisions
And each chance could be the last one given
Black and white is what this world isn’t
So many shades reflect UV rays
And color the cornea in unique ways
Creation’s canvas on daily display
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t here
Wadcutter blows holes through both ears
Clean slate
Liberated weight
No fear
Ask me the truth and that’s what you’ll hear
Some can’t stomach a state so severe
That’s why the pill’s so hard to swallow
Pleasure and peril now pointless
Hollow
The depths of hopelessness
Where I’ll wallow
Most times I feel apathetic
Like “fuck it”, “whatever”, and “okay, forget it”
Twenty-nine years and I still don’t get it
But the feeling is real and I’m unapologetic
Fifteen years self five leaf medic
Music and not much else to my credit
Sure I could do with a few life edits
But I don’t fix shit
I just let it…
This time I’m more motivated
Hunger
Desire
Thoroughly cultivated
Previous attempts I’ve somewhat emulated
While honing my craft
Do math and I’ll demonstrated it
Still to deal with my ills I’m sedated
Many an hour if it’s in my power
Depression is like wilted pedals on a flower
And this is my photosynthesizer
