George Carlin I Ain't Afraid Of Cancer
Yeah, about time for me to get a little drink of water.
Figure this stuff is safe to drink? Huh? Actually I
don't care if it's safe or not, I drink it anyway. You
know why? Cause I'm an American and I expect a little
cancer in my food and water. That's right, I'm a loyal
American and I'm not happy unless I've let government
and industry poison me a little bit every day. Let me
have a few hundred thousand carcinogens here.
Ahh, a little cancer never hurt anybody. Everybody
needs a little cancer I think. It's good for you. Keeps
you on you're toes. Besides, I ain't afraid of
cancer...I had broccoli for lunch. Broccoli kills
cancer. A lot of people don't know that, it's not out
yet. It's true. You find out you got some cancer...
(click) get yourself a f..cking bowl of broccoli.
That'll wipe it right out in a day or two. Cauliflower
too. Cauliflower kills the really big cancers. The ones
you can see through clothing from across the street.
Broccoli kills the little ones. The ones that are
slowly eating your way from inside...while your
goddamn, goofy, half- educated doctor keeps telling
you, "your doing fine Jim." In fact bring your doctor a
bowl of broccoli. He's probably got cancer too.
Probably picked it up from you. They don't know what
their doing, it's all guesswork in a white coat. Here,
let me have a few more sips of industrial waste.
Ahh, maybe...maybe I can turn them cancers against one
another. That's what you gotta hope for you know, that
you get more than one cancer so they eat each other up
instead of you. In fact, the way I look at it, the more
cancer you got, the healthier you are.
