George Carlin Flesh Colored Band-aids
Flesh colored Band-Aids. That's another thing we left the blacks out of, man. Didn't consult them at all. Flesh colored..we didn't even consult all the whites on that one. Ya ever notice them Band-Aids? I don't know anyone that color. It's kind of an off-coffee. I don't know nobody like that. And I've never seen anybody with their pores laid out in grids like that, man. F..ckin' science fiction. But some businessman had to pick that color out. He had to approve it. Some man who was assigned a pad...a pencil...a place to write...had to OK the art department. Art department brought up all the shit- "Let me see..55, 51, I dunno..51, 53. That'll be flesh! 53!" Wow! Didn't even bother me.
Flesh colored crayons pissed me off! I was a war baby. 1937- I was maybe 8 years of age when it was over. And flesh colored crayons didn't come in for a long time, man. Flesh colored crayons came in when I was 19. I had been out of coloring for over a year by then. I had gone through rubbing orange and red together.
Another color that bothers me is blue! Why is there no.... blue.... food? There's no blue food, man! Blueberries are purple. A lotta things- blue on the vine, blue on the vine. Bullshit! Purple! There's no blue food, man! Someone has the blue food! WE WANT THE BLUE FOOD! Blue food probably bestows immortality! (depressed:) Where's the blue food? Oh, occasionally you get some badass Jello in the cafeteria that looks blue. That's all, man. That's all. Maybe a piece of hard candy. One outta two of the pieces of hard candy are blue; it's a pain in the ass. Have to explain them away. "What about the blue.." "Never mind, asshole. It's mint or some shit and it has nothing to do with color. Green is lime, yellow is lemon, orange is orange, red is cherry. Blue is nothing, man; there's no f..cking blue!" And then they drop the little round blue things in your mouth. I'll show you what it is; it's a sour ball...(CRACK!) AAAAHH! GLASS! Left over from Halloween. Wow!...