Xololanxinxo Marina J. Anderson
(these are my last words my last confessions. The sky dances in colors of day and night. But still I am their prisoner. The sky dances in color of day and night and I have still not seen the sun.)
Nobody knows me, Im so forgettable
The child of misery and missing memory,
I cried serenity in summer symmetry
I fell asleep there, and never woke again
I once believe that I was a human being,
But now this human thing, seems like a bad dream
I walked this hallway of shattered nerves moving
I see myself in pieces, and then my soul rejects me.
I want the truth now, but cant accept it all
The hieroglyphics that never made the wall;
I so believe in you, my soul it bleeds it through.
The facts that I have lived, god wont forgive
My family half disowned me,
My best friend had shot me,
My only woman left me, and I was left to die
I never cried then, I’ll never cry now
My hearts completely numb, but I do feel the hate
The rage, it pumps my blood, and all I know is anger
Im danger to myself but even worse to others
I seem to hate you, but love to hate me
Intoxicate my body, separate my soul
Destroy myself is my only goal, my path is closed
My thoughts will melt the ice
My life is nothing nice, for I have taken life
I left him bleeding conscious, and I was well aware;
I never really cared, my eyes is plain to stare;
And now I only life, electric summer chairs;
All my days are numbers, and I will sleep again;
The devils only friend,
I gave my chores to evil, cuz evil ways I live
I never met my kids,
I never seen the beach,
I pulled my hand back when god tried to reach.
I didn’t finish school
I never was free, I never was me, I never was a child
My problems gave me, and these were the things I would always see.
I want to be free, I wanna change this
I want to escape, my life of deathwish,
I wanna be free, I wish I change this
I just cant escape, this life of deathwish
I wanna be free, I wish I changed this
I just cant escape this life of deathwish
I wish I was free, ill never change this;
As I split away my life of deathwish.
(I constantly see the faces of those who I have hurt, its instilled in me. It plays over and over in my mind and my thoughts and eats me from the inside out. Now I live in doubt, cuz I know…. Ive been sentenced to this life of misery, even before I was captured by the system, put in this cage. I am not even an animal. The constant pain of the hurt im instilled, it faces. I once believed I was so cold that the only thing I felt was the relief of watching someone’s soul slip away; but now, the pain, it eats me slowly. Please Forgive me.)
