Tom Cardy Walk
[Intro: J.R.R. Tolkien and Publisher]
I think I speak for everyone here when I say it is very exciting to be in a room with you Mr Tolkien!
Okay
We loved publishing The Hobbit. Can you tell us a bit about this next book?
It's about a magic ring...
Yeah?
Given to an heir...
Yeah?
Who must destroy all evil...
Yeah?
On a magic quest!
What happens next?
They
[Verse 1]
Walk, walk, walk, walk
Walk, walk, somebody's following them!
Walk, walk, hide, walk
Walk, walk, steal some mushrooms!
Get on a boat, walk, walk
Walk, Elves for the first time, wow!
Walk, walk, night time walk
Walk, walk, attacked by trees
[Interlude: J.R.R. Tolkien and Publisher]
Okay, um, that's a lot of walking--
I'm not a third of the way through!
[Verse 2]
Walk, walk, meet a weird bush guy
Walk, walk, finally a town!
Safe, safe, еat, rest
Show everyonе their secret, get the f..ck out of there!
Run, run, they got a new tall guy!
Run, scared, stabbed by a dementor!
Ride, run, run, ride
Dementors can't swim, f..ck back to Azkaban!
[Bridge: J.R.R. Tolkien and Publisher]
Okay, well, that seems like a good place to end it. We-- We'll publish it--
I'm almost halfway!
[Verse 3]
Rest, rest, a bunch of elves
They've seen elves before, but now they've got a dwarf
Walk, walk, heaps of walking
Path is blocked, walk underground
Orc! Run! A Balrog has come
Kick him in the arse! "You shall not f..ck with me!"
Walk, walk, I'm sick of elves
Get on a boat, Boromir's an arsehole
[Pre-Chorus: J.R.R. Tolkien and Second Publisher]
Motherfuckers on a magic quest
Fellows in the fellowship doing what they do best
What if for a while they rode a massive hawk?
I think I'd prefer if they walked
[Chorus]
This is my book motherfucker!
They'll walk if I tell them to!
Get that weak-arse bird shit out of here!
