Tim Minchin Miracle: Pt. 2
[DOCTOR]
A baby, Mrs Wormwood. A child. The most precious gift the natural world can bestow upon us has been handed to you. A brand new human being! A life. A person. A wonderful new person is about to come into your life to bring love, and magic, and happiness, and wonder!
[MRS WORMWOOD]
Oh, bloody hell!
[DOCTOR]
Every life I bring into this world
Restores my faith in human kind
[NURSE]
Push, Mrs Wormwood, push!
[MRS WORMWOOD]
I'll push you in a minute!
[DOCTOR]
Each newborn life a canvas yet unpainted
This still, unbroken skin
This uncorrupted mind
[DOCTOR and ENSEMBLE]
Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely
The chances of existence almost infinitely small
[DOCTOR]
The most common thing in life is life
And yet every single life
Every new life
Is a miracle!
Miracle!
[MR WORMWOOD]
Where is he? Where's my son?
[DOCTOR]
Mr Wormwood! Are you smoking a cigarette?
[MR WORMWOOD]
What? Oh, of course. I'm sorry, doctor. What am I thinking? This calls for a proper smoke. Oh, my word, he's an ugly little thing
[DOCTOR]
This is one of the most beautiful children I've ever seen
[MR WORMWOOD]
Oh, my good Lord. Where's his fingie?
[DOCTOR]
His what?
[MR WORMWOOD]
His fingie. His whatchamacallit. His doo-dah. What've you done with his fingie?
[DOCTOR]
This child doesn't have a "thingie" –
[MR WORMWOOD]
What? A boy with no fingie? Look what you've done, you stupid woman. This boy's got no fingie!
[DOCTOR]
Mr Wormwood! This child is a girl. A beautiful, beautiful little girl
[MRS WORMWOOD]
Is there still time for the Bi-Annual Inter-Championship Amateur Sausage –
[MR WORMWOOD]
Dance competition's finished. You missed it. Look, I don't suppose we could exchange it for a boy, could we?
[MRS WORMWOOD]
This is the worst day of my life!
