Tim Minchin My Neighbour's Ass
My ass is getting me down People laugh behind their hands when I take it into town It used to be tough and hard-working and strong But now it is greying and has long since been long past its prime But it was such a good ass in its time
Just to rub salt in the wound My neighbour has an ass that would make Tatanya swoon It's so broad that it's almost impossible to straddle He had to get a custom made saddle
I know that envy's a sin But his ass is so muscular while mine is so thin I know it's immoral to covet But just one day with his ass, oh God I would love it!
Oh Lord my saviour Would you do me a favour I just want an ass like my neighbour
I want my neighbour's ass Cos my neighbour has A real nice ass
My ass was once strong as an ox People could easily ride it from dawn until dusk But it never once balked out a plough It was hardy and handsome but I'm afraid now a disaster I've had to put my ass out to pasture
I should be happy with the ass that God gave me To look a gift ass in the mouth is a sin I really should look on the bright side It's such a big job breaking a brand new ass in
I know that envy is wrong But my ass is so pathetic while his is so strong In the old days my ass brought me kudos and fame Now my ass just brings me shame
Oh Lord, Lord my saviour Forgive my behaviour I can't help but covet the ass of my neighbour
