Home Page »  S »  Steve Martin
   

Atheists Don't Have No Songs Lyrics


Steve Martin Atheists Don't Have No Songs


[Narration]

You know, religious people have such beautiful music and art;
And athiests really have nothing...

Until now!

A little tune called "Athiests Don't Have No Songs"

[Lyrics]

(Christians have)
Christians have their hymns and pages.
(Hymns and pages)
Hava Nagila's for the Jews.
(For the Jews)
Baptists have the rock of ages.
(Rock of ages)
Atheists just sing the blues.

(Romantics play)
Romantics play Claire de Lune.
(Claire de Lune)
Born agains sing He is risen.
But no one ever wrote a tune.
(Wrote a tune)
For godless existentialism.
(For godless existentialism)

For Atheists,
There's no good news.
They'll never sing,
A song of faith.

In their songs,
They have a rule.
The "he" is always lowercase.
The "he" is always lowercase.

(Some folks sing)
Some folks sing a Bach cantata.
(Bach cantata)
Lutherans get Christmas trees.
Atheist songs add up to nada.
(Up to nada)
But they do have Sundays free.
(Have Sundays free)

(Pentecostals sing)
Pentecostals sing, sing to heaven,
(Sing to heaven)
Gothics had the books of scrolls,
(Numerologists count)
Numerologists count, count to seven,
(Count to seven)
Atheists have rock and roll.

For Atheists,
There's no good news.
They'll never sing,
A song of faith.

In their songs,
They have a rule.
The "he" is always lowercase.
The "he" is always lowercase.

Atheists
... Atheists
... Atheists
Don't Have No SONGS!

(Christians have)
Christians have their hymns and pages.
(Hymns and pages)
Hava Nagila's for the Jews.
(For the Jews)
Baptists have the rock of ages.
(Rock of ages)
Atheists just sing the blues.

Catholics,
Dress up for Mass.
And listen to,
Gregorian chants.

Atheists,
Just take a pass.
Watch football in their underpants.
Watch football in their underpants.

Atheists
... Atheists
... Atheists
Don't Have No SONGS!
(Don't Have No Songs)



most anticipated las vegas concerts and festivals in 2026
Most Anticipated Las Vegas Concerts And Festivals In 2026
Sasha Mednikova - 16 Dec 2025
debby ryan and josh dun welcome baby felix winter dun
Debby Ryan And Josh Dun Welcome Baby Felix Winter Dun
Evren E. - 13 Dec 2025
sabrina carpenter condemns use of juno in white house ice video
Sabrina Carpenter Condemns Use Of Juno In White House Ice Video
Chris Page - 02 Dec 2025
benny blancos mother faces terrifying home invasion in studio city
Benny Blanco's Mother Faces Terrifying Home Invasion In Studio City
Faith Thompson - 26 Nov 2025
ariana grande hints at pausing tours after 2026 eternal sunshine shows
Ariana Grande Hints At Pausing Tours After 2026 Eternal Sunshine Shows
Sasha Mednikova - 18 Nov 2025
Browse: