Million Dead To Whom It May Concern
Tonight will be the last night of my record-breakingly
successful run in the lead role of the greatest play of
the century. Unprecedentedly warm praise from critics and
public alike has met my portrayal of a man at his desk
who gives a damn. “Oh, oh, oh, if I could only see the
clear blue sky from my office window, then oh, oh, it
would only take a steel grey day and I’d take my bow.”
And I’d like to thank all my friends and fans for always
pushing me to soldier on. So one last time (for the
cameras) my greatest soliloquy: “Oh, oh, oh, if I could
only see the clear blue sky from my office window, then
oh, oh, it would only take a steel grey day and I’d take
my bow.” To whom it may concern: I’d like to nominate
myself to receive an award as a small symbol of
recognition for my body of work – a lifetime of selling
my body to pay the bills. But my heart and my mind are
mine, mine, you will not win this war – this is just a
battle. Oh, oh, oh, well I’ve surrendered you my physical
attendance here, but no, no, no, you will not take my
soul – lest we forget why I’m sitting here. My letter to
the human resources department says “You started a war so
you’ll get what you started.” I’m only working here
because I need the f..cking money.
