Half Man Half Biscuit If I Had Possession Over Pancake Day
Outside Goldsmith’s coughing up blood,
Turner Prize judge gasps “Christ that’s good -
Leave it as it is, it’ll get first place
We’ll call it a full shift at the coal face”
Oh well you’re neither a Stuckist or a YBA
and you’re no longer a miner as of today
Praise for the wardens ready to fine
Anyone caught saying “graphic design”
Rag-mag seller said I’d be in pleats
Only when he’d been cleaned from the streets
Oh I could squeeze my lemon ’till my blues went away
If I had possession over Pancake Day
Give a philosophy student a glass of limeade
and he will say: “is this a glass of limeade?”
and “if so, why is it a glass of limeade?”
and, after a while, he’ll die of thirst
