Half Man Half Biscuit Dickie Davis Eyes
Mention the Lord of the Rings one more time
And I'll more than likely kill you.
"More cock, more cock, Michael, more cock" you fervently moan.
Is this a wok that you've shoved down my throat,
Or are you just pleased to see me?
Brian Moore's head looks uncannily like London Planetarium.
Chorus:
And all those people
Who you, romantically,
Like to still believe are alive,
Are dead!
So I'll wipe my snots
On the arm of your chair
As you put another wretched Dean poster
On the wall.
God, I could murder a Cadbury's Flake
but then I guess you wouldn't let me into heaven.
Or maybe you would cos their adverts promote oral sex!
A Romany bint in a field with her paints,
Suggesting we faint at her beauty,
But she's got "Dickie Davis Eyes!"
Chorus x 2