Box Office Poison Bubblegum And Dimes
The first time I went to her house I brought Chinese food in a bag
I wasn't greeted at the doorway by her, but her dad
He said "You better stay outside."
I said "What for?"
He said "You second class poor boys treat my daughter like a whore."
Melanie, I fell hard for her on some Long Island beach
But she was the kind of girl, only a special man could reach
After all I work on the Triboro collectin' your tolls
Her daddy gave em one last chance and I took her out to bowl.
They got a speed boat, I take the subway
An indoor pool and pockets of cash
A dozen acres on the north shore
I live above a discount store
So I replaced my leather with a tie
traded in my jeans, to make the mirror lie
When her dad saw me, he knew I was tryin'
he said "that was your last chance, don't want you feedin from the family line."
They got a speed boat, I take the subway
An indoor pool and pockets of cash
born without a family fortune was I
Can't get home with bubblegum and dimes
And so her brother caught us, talking through her window
But I said "I love you" before he got to me
the fist on my head was heavy as a cello
he said "You'd better not see my sister again."
When I tell my friends this, they all find it funny. The only thing I learned
is don't act like you got money