Adam Sandler Dee Wee (my Friend The Massive Idiot)
He said he'd be here at seven
The clock just hit 7:22
It's too cold outside
To wait for my ride
Watching mama try out a new doo (Bruins)
He said he'd be here at seven
But it just hit 7:35 (already?)
Here in Brockton, Mass.,
I got my thumb in my ass
Mama's combing up a big beehive (Celtics)
Where the f..ck is he?
Where the f..ck is he?
The bitch doesn't even bother calling
Even though it's 7:44 (I fell asleep, pally)
I'm feeling kinda antsy
Mama's getting fancy
Slicking back a wet pompadour (Red Sox)
He said he'd be here at seven
It's closing in on 8:01 (Trimmin' the ÂÂ'stache, kid)
Me lookin' like a sap
In a wool knit cap
Mama's next move is a bun (fuckin' Patriots)
Where the f..ck is he? (My pants are still in the dryer, dude)
Where the f..ck is he? (I couldn't find my f..ckin' snowboots, pal)
I wish I had a car (Huge, huge hangover)
Oh, no (Massive hailstorm, massive hailstorm, massive)
That stupid little punk
He's probably f..ckin' drunk
I bet he drank a case
Wanna pop him in the face right now
Mama's eyebrow
Wicked good
Wicked good (Oh, GOD)
Wicked good
Wicked good (Fuck yeah)
Wicked good
Wicked good (Pisser?)
Well my friend is still a no-show
And I'm getting' f..cking pissed (Why?)
ÂÂ'Cause I could've gone with Charlie
In the side of his Harley
Mama's on the phone with a stylist (Fuck Charlie!)
So I guess I ain't going out tonight
ÂÂ'Cause the digits say 12:09 (Shit-faced)
But call the operator
ÂÂ'Cause one perm later
Mama's hair sure do look fine (Heffenreffer!!!)
Where the f..ck
