William Finn Canceling The Bar Mitzvah
[TRINA, yelling]
Jason?
Jason!
(sung)
If he doesn't want a bar mitzvah
Then he will not have a bar mitzvah
Because mother says
Because mother knows best
And I'm too old
To get on my knees
And beg him
Since the world has gone to hell
And if he thinks it's bust
It is probably just as well
(yelled)
Jason?
Jas'?
(sung)
What has Whizzer done to deserve this?
I mean what is the threat
That he won't get what he deserves to get
What's the big surprise?
Open up your eyes
If he doesn't want a bar mitzvah
Then he will not have a bar mitzvah
Because my stomach aches
And I've lost my desire
And it's a joke
Now that Whizzer's quickly dying
I can't handle Jason's style
Since he screams and taunts
I will do what he wants
And smile
(yelled)
Jason? Jas'?
(sung)
Since you do not want a bar mitzvah
Then the whole thing's canceled
There's no more bar mitzvah
Why aren't you cheering?
The whole thing's canceled
It's canceled
It's canceled
If I knew that you'd start crying…
Hell, I thought that you'd be glad
Please don't hate me though
But I am going slowly [?]
We'll have a bar mitzvah
Darling, if you want a bar mitzvah...
We'll have a bar mitzvah
How are we going to have a bar mitzvah?
