Wilder Maker Cocaine Man
We were down there waiting on the cocaine man
He was late
The street was all dead each blank brick stared like a taxidermy eye
Cal smoked a butt with that nervous grace
Makes you feel the light on your skin
I said the one thing I fear is growing bitter
What if you give all you have and the world replies “ “
There's blood in being hated god damn I wanted to be hated
I wanted to be embraced or screamed at or f..cked senseless
But the clock kept dragging on
I wasted such a long time coming back to you
You you you
You December
You're a cruel month but I loved you so
I wanted to throw a punch and then stand in the growing silence
Just like the pond ripples after a stone
My stubble just visible in the arc light
A man drinking history alone
I wanted to watch her mouth move against the pillow
Because that's the truest way I've been wanted
And a body consumed tells no lies
I wanted an ice cold mercy of a beer
In a city far away
Get into the car drive out of the shot and the next shot's someone else
But I just bummed a drag cause the red flare and the slow exhale were the only dignity I could find
You you you
You December
You're a cruel month but I loved you so
You you you
You December
You're a cruel month and I'm letting you go