Waterboys The Wedding
			The father who sired her handed her over
 the crack-handed orchestra played
The bride and the groom stood shoulder-to-shoulder
 as the ill-starred wedding was made
She lifted her veil as the groom gently kissed her
 and all did appear to be well
But the limousine driver heard every harsh whisper
 as they drove to the country hotel
In the Grand Hotel ballroom the guests were assembling
 the champagne like tapwater flowed
The men wearing top hats, and fop coats and top coats
 the women in bustles and bows
The brideæ¯ jealous sister sat alone in her place
 and sneered as the couple came in 
The maitre-de coughed and said ælease take your places,
 the Banquet is about to begin?
The street doors burst open and an army of footman
 swept in bearing salvers and trays
Fiddlers and clowns went from table to table
 amid black smoke and cigarette haze
Noone saw the best man as he secretly winked
 at the brideæ¯ jealous sister it seemed
And then cried out æ¥aiter, Bring me more drink
 and more Marilyn Monroe ice-cream?
When the wine had been poured and the tables were cleared
 the toasts and the speeches began
The bride and groom cut the cake, everyone cheered!
 then all eyes fell on the best man.
He climbed off his chair, and he licked his cracked lips
 and declared in a voice cold and dry
æhe tricked and hijacked him, with guilt she trapped him
 this day is a sham and a lie?
Her  father leapt up with a curse and a roar
 and slew the best man in the head
The groom cried ælaggard!?and with a flash of his sword
 his father-in-law fell down dead
The bride ran screaming in floods of bright tears
 and collapsed at the foot of the stairs
Where her sister was waiting with scissors and shears
 and hacked off every inch of her hair.
Up on the roof sat seven fat crows, the moon rose low in the west.
 the groom was arrested still in his wedding clothes
And hanged in his pants and his vest
 the bald-headed bride bought a ticket to Spain
And eloped with a wig-makers son 
 while her jealous mad sister, riven with shame
Became a nun!