Trevor Moore Connie Watson
Connie Watson
Is my mom's best friend
She's sixty-two
And loves Land's End
Her hair is short
And always looks wet
She works reception
For the local vet
And every time I'm home she tells me stories all day long
She says her life is crazy and I should put her in a song
Connie, Connie, Connie Watson, here you go
This is a song for you
Full of your crazy tales and anecdotes
She swears all this is true!
One time Connie
Went to TGI Friday's
With a bunch of ladies
From church!
They thought the waiter was cute
Because he looked like a young Matt Lauer
And when he came over
His name tag said "Matt"
Connie, Connie, Connie Watson
Frumpy lady, a mystery and such
The craziest things just seem to happen to her
You can't make this stuff up
A guy at Kroger
Once thought that Connie was his wife
But when she turned around
He was wrong
But I can't do it justice
I must not be telling the story right
Because when Connie does
It's forty-five minutes long
Connie, Connie, Connie Watson
How do you like your stupid song?
Is it everything that you thought that it would be?
Everybody sing along!
Connie, I think you might have a non-verbal learning disorder
Because you clearly have trouble interpreting people's social cues
Connie, if someone hasn't responded for 20 minutes
And they won't look up from their phones
That means they don't want to talk to you
(Spoken)
Everybody now!
Connie, I think you might have a non-verbal learning disorder
Because you clearly have trouble interpreting people's social cues
Connie, if someone hasn't responded for 20 minutes
And they won't look up from their phone
That means they don't want to talk to you
Connie where you at tonight?
Are you at Panera Bread?
Connie where you at tonight?
Are you at Panera Bread?
She's got a sweatshirt
Of cats unrolling a roll of toilet paper
In the bathroom
And it says "Let the good times roll."
She's got a sweatshirt
Of cats unrolling a roll of toilet paper
In the bathroom
And it says "Let the good times roll."
She's got a sweatshirt
Of cats unrolling a roll of toilet paper
In the bathroom
And it says "Let the good times roll."
