Everything I Am Lyrics

People tell me keep my head up it'll be okay

And I just smile because there's nothing left for me to say

Meanwhile I'm really wishing that they'd keep away

Cause no one truly understands the problems I hide deep away

They're playing checkers, my mind is thinking chess moves

I'm tryna' pause time so I can think about my next move

Not only that I'm also thinking 'bout my next two

While also being sidetracked by these pretty girls I'm next to

If she really knew the weight of all my problems

Would she still be staring at me as if she could help me solve em'?

I swear I'm losing it, I'm caught up in my thoughts

It's like they show you how to get through life but still I end up lost

And everything attained in life don't come without a cost

So our emotions pay for every single lesson we are taught

Tryna' keep a smile in the midst of all my pain

Is like tryna' stay dry in the midst of all the rain

I'm hoping I'm the only thing that still remains the same

So my friends won't say I changed in the midst of all the fame

But no one knows what tomorrow holds so whos to say?

So I'm thinking 'bout tomorrow when I lose track of today

Once I make it through this mess, Imma be the one to blame

Cause I did it on my own with little help along the way

This mixtape is my book but I didn't put in every page

Cause I didn't wanna talk about things like H.R.A.

So I didn't tell ya'll that my family got evicted

Or that I completely ruined my relationship with my sisters

If I could speak to them I'd tell them that I miss em'

And say sorry that I didn't even send a gift on christmas

It's like, I just wonder how I got here

And how I'm 'posed to fly when my whole world drops here

But just when I thought the storm was over...

Some close ones passed away, another burden on my shoulder

It's always ones that you ain't call as much as you was 'posed to

Yet you could find time to text people you ain't close to

Damn, so I'm feeling type ashamed

While half the family's only hoping that the family's getting paid

And things ain't quite merry when you can't afford christmas

Yet people asking me why I'm not smiling in my pictures

If money talks then I'm tryna sit and listen

But if money says it all then my pocket just whispers

Cause even with financial aid I can't afford college

But a bachelor's can't teach you how to get through life's problems

So I ain't even stressing that I can't afford knowledge

It just means I'll find another stage and learn how to rock it

My dreams walk ahead of me, I am just the shadow

Either they are out of reach or I am just a tad slow

I'm a bad performer or my life is just a bad show

Atleast I get this weekly child support from my dad though

How come, life don't listen when I ask first?

And even when I drive slow, I can't avoid them fast girls?

I was voted class clown and class nerd

I hope my songs are good enough for fans to hear the last verse

Pictures in my mind but I can't really describe them

Pills that I could take but the doctor didn't prescribe them

Problems tend to find me so I'm just tryna' hide them

My dreams try to log out so I keep my focus signed in

Music is my life and every bar is a tear

I just hope the bass bumps loud enough to silence all my fears

I've been through hell and back and only lived 20 years

I've got 80 more left so that explains why I'm scared

My life is a movie but I wish I had two takes

So I could film from scratch with a new life and a new name

It's like, I just need to find a new place

Where roaches don't walk by me as if they were freaking roomates

I set up dates with girls that I eventually postpone

Cause I either got no money or I'm running out of clothes

So now she disappointed or she's crying back at home

But little does she know that I've been crying all along

And I should tell the truth because I know she'd understand

But it hurts to say I'm broke so I pretend that I got plans

But I'm just home hoping that she'll find a better man

That can take her out to dinner and put diamonds on her hand

Everybody got problems, why complain about mine?

I'll just put them in a song and then I'll make it all rhyme

I'm trying not to rush cause I know things come in time

I'm just waiting for the whole world to be mine

When you try hard, you die hard, yea I hear you yeezy

But I'm going hard regardless 'cause since when is dying easy

So tell me do ya'll feel me?

Nah, ya'll can't hear me...