Stephen Lynch If I Could Be A Superhero
If I could be a superhero, I would be Awesome Man
I'd fly around the world fighting crime,
according to my awesome plan
And if I saw criminals trying to lie
Hurting other people, and making them cry
I'd haul them off to jail in my awesome van
'Cause I would be Awesome Man
If I could be a superhero, I would be Drug Free Boy
Telling the world of the evils of drugs
And all of the lives they destroy
And I'd take all the junkie, he's getting so high
Their needles and bongs and their sticks made of tie
As i burned them alive, I would squeal with joy
'Cause I would be Drug Free Boy
If I could be a superhero, I would be Immagration Dude
I'd send all of the foreigners back to their homes
For eating up all of our food
And taking our wellfare and best jobs to boot
Like landscaping, dishwashing, picking our fruit
I'd pass a lot of laws to get rid of their brood
'Cause I'd be Immagration Dude
If I could be a superher, would you be Justice Guy
Making sure people get what they deserve
Especially women who lie
Like if a wife leaves her husband with three kids and no job
To go off to f..ckin' Hawaii with some doctor named Bob
You could skin them and drain them of blood so they'd die (especially Bob)
Then you would be Justice Guy
Could you be more suddle (hah) I didn't mean to be vague
Have you heard of Mad Cow Disease let him die of the plague
As long as they'd both suffer for their terrible crimes (especially Bob)
Then you would be Justice Guy
Yes then, you would be,
A superhero like me!
