Steel Panther Heavy Metal Rules
Couldn't make no money as a singer
Didn't seem to get too far
So I sell pot brownies and Vicodin
From the back seat of my car
Movin' back to Chicago
Gonna rest my achin' head
Spotify took my last 2 cents
And the butter for my bread
Gene Simmons said it
Rock and roll is dead
Rock and roll is dead
I never did it for the money
I only did it to get laid
But I can't buy shots for the ladies
If there's no way to get paid
Now I can't make money on my good looks
Can't make it on applause
So I sell nose beers to the kiddos
And thumb my own nose at the laws
But I'm never ever gonna stop playing
Even though rock and roll ain't paying
Cuz heavy metal rules, heavy metal rules
Heavy metal rules, heavy metal rules
Heavy metal rules
And everybody else can suck my dick
Gonna make my money stealing hub caps
And selling black tar on the streets
Taking handbags from old ladies
While they respond to Trumpy's Tweets
Apple came to town a ringing
A death knell for the band
If I can't make money selling records
I'm gonna make it any way I can
And I'm gonna keep on rocking your ass
As long as I'm on the right side of the grass
Cuz heavy metal rules, heavy metal rules (Madonna - she's a dick!)
Heavy metal rules, heavy metal rules (That punk shit belongs on Mars!)
Heavy metal rules, heavy metal rules (Dokken, Van Halen, they all f..cking rule!)
Heavy metal rules
And everybody else can suck my f..cking dick
