Small Fred Lost That Pretty Little Gal Of Mine (to Title Ix)
I lost that pretty little gal of mine to Title Nine. I found her in the stands but I lost her at the finish line She was so soft and sweet But now I find I can't compete I lost that gal of mine to Title IX. Sure, I put my money on Billie Jean. But that damn King has taken away my queen. She learned a topspin Now she won't let me win She doesn't want me on her doubles team. Her old letters made my heart melt Now they're on her sweater and they're made of felt In her bikini she used to look so cute Now she does laps in her navy blue tank suit. She does windsprints, I do the wash I stuff zucchini while she's playing squash On a date I'm so tense She's itchin' to try her self defense And violence I cannot bear to watch. Her old soft spots are hard today The problem I've got's just the other way She used to cheer me as I ran my race Now I find I can't keep her pace.