Size 14 Mrs. Claus
I didn't mean to do it, she was looking so damn fine
We were just talking, it must have been your wine
Cos then we started kissing
I put my hand right up her dress
I laid her under the mistletoe
You can figure out the rest!
And if you're wondering
Why there ain't no presents in my neighbourhood
It's cos I f..cked Mrs. Claus, and I f..cked her good!
A couple days later, I got a message on the phone
Saying "Come on over, cos Santa isn't home"
So I drove up to the North Pole
Ahe was looking like a dream
I put her up on the kitchen counter
I gave her my size 14!
And now Santa's pissed
But you know I wouldn't change it if I could
Cos I f..cked Mrs. Claus, and I f..cked her good!
One night it got a little crazy
We did it right in front of the Elves
They were singing "Santa Claus is coming to town"
But I was coming in something else!
If you're wondering why that bloated bastard
Never comes to Hollywood...
I f..cked Mrs. Claus, whoa I f..cked Mrs. Claus
I f..cked Mrs. Claus, and I f..cked her good
I f..cked Mrs. Claus, and I f..cked her good
I f..cked Mrs. Claus... and I made her come!