Ryan Carter Straitjacket
WAIT! WAIT!
Stop the tape, I gotta take a selfie...
Ok
[VERSE 1]
For being a lame chump, and weird as hell
We sentence you to entertain the world, on a global scale
Mr. Carter you must be dysfunctional
Everyone will hate you, you'll be insufferable
F..cked around, aged-out the school scene
Recorded a few albums, now I'm in a magazine
Million streams and sales, I did double
F..cked spells up like I'm Mildred Hubble!
Bored as hell one night, eating pie
Wrote down some rhymes, record on-the-fly
Photoshop my face, look like a goof
I'll teach you how to do it, but after that vamoose
Diagnosed with A.D.D. my life was toast
The kid in the back talked! Doc give him a stronger dose!
Doused chloroform on the placket
I made a fast escape, still tied in a straitjacket!
[Chorus]
Uh! Uh! Yeah!
Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!
Uh! Don't have a chorus
Uh! Uh!
So we just gonna make some ad-lib sounds!
Really don't have a chorus!
[The Wolf]
Yo bro! You want a muffin?
[Ryan Carter]
What?! (This doesn't need a chorus, this song doesn't need a chorus.)
Just tell the story
[VERSE 2]
Carter colluded in cahoots with the Russians
The government had discussions, determine repercussions
So now they got me locked with Donald in the dungeon
Nurses all laughing, both our dicks look like munchkin's
I shitted on myself for bad behavior
Also masterbated and nutted on my neighbor (UH!)
Trump got pissed and pulled a blinky out his butthole
Outta rhymes drumroll.. tee-pee, bunghole!
I'm an O.G. word-slinger, not retired
Mumble rappers suck, word of advice: Be quiet!
My cellmate yells: GET THE GUARDS TO THESE QUARTERS AT ONCE!
THIS DUDE IS ACTING LIKE A DUNCE!
That is the story, that a stranger will tell to you
The tale of two losers, locked in a cage in the yonder blue
Carter: insane in the brain, dead in the face
President of the United States: a Basket case
[OUTRO]
Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Yeah!
That's the story, a cautionary tale
BEWARE!
Watch what you do, watch what you say... it comes back
Ok, cut the tape off
CUT THE TAPE OFF!
STOP THE TAPE!
STOP THE TAPE! WHERE'S MY MEDICINE?!