Ray Stevens The Bricklayer's Song
Dear sir, I write this note to you to tell you of me
plight,
For at the time of writing, I am not a pretty sight,
Me body is all black & blue, me face a deathly grey,
And I write this note to tell you why I'm not at work
today.
While working on the 14th floor, some bricks I had to
clear,
But, to toss them down from such a height, was not a
good idea,
The foreman wasn't very pleased, he is an awkward sod,
He said I'd to cart them down the ladders in me hod.
Now, shifting all those bricks by hand, it was so very
slow,
So, I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope below.
But, in me haste to do the job, I was too blind to see,
That a barrel full of building bricks is heavier than
me.
And so, when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like
lead,
And clinging tightly to the rope, I started up instead.
I shot up like a rocket, til to my dismay I found
That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down.
Now, the barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground it
sped,
And when I reached the top, I banged the pulley with me
head.
I clung on tightly, numb with shock, from this almighty
blow,
And the barrel spilled out half the bricks, fourteen
floors below.
Now, when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to
the floor,
I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once
more.
Still clinging tightly to the rope, me body wracked
with pain,
Halfway down, I met the bloody barrel once again.
Now, the force of this collision, halfway down the
office block,
Caused multiple contusions and a nasty state of shock,
Still clinging tightly to the rope I fell towards the
ground,
And I landed on the broken bricks the barrel had
scattered round.
Well, I lay there groaning on the ground I thought I'd
passed the worst,
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom
burst.
A shower of bricks rained down on me, I didn't have a
hope.
For, as I lay there bleeding I let go the bloody rope.
The barrel being unsecured, then started down once
more.
And it landed right across me as I lay there on the
floor.
It broke three ribs and my left arm, and I can only
say,
That I hope you'll understand why Murphy's not at work
today
