Psychostick Bruce Campbell
Bruce Campbell is the finest man to grace a silver screen
All the other actors just degrade his noble scenes
The Oscars should award him for his wondrous career
Hold a town parade for him with each movie premiere
Bruce Campbell! Bruce Campbell!
We're gonna be best friends!
Gonna come to your house and watch Hercules
From season one till the end
I'll hand you everything I own
And you'll sign it all for me!
Then we'll start rehearsing for Cave Alien 3
Bruce Lorne Campbell should be offered every lead!
Imagine him as Spider-Man, a finer choice indeed
Casablanca could've been improved if Campbell would've said,
"Here's looking at you...you primitive screwhead!"
Bruce Campbell! Bruce Campbell!
Dert dert da dert dert dert
Gonna come to your house
And put Xena and not sleep until it's done
I got the whole boxset for Briscoe County, too
I love you and to prove it's true
I'm gonna play a kazoo
Bruce Ash Campbell is a truly stellar man
He bravely fought the Deadites
But a chainsaw took his hand
Coincidentally, I have one I barely ever use
I'll saw it off and ship it to the charming, handsome Bruce
Bruce Campbell! Bruce Campbell!
I need the measurements for your chin!
Gonna make me a jawbone implant
And I'm gonna be your twin
Then I'll get me a tattoo of your face
And put it right on my....face
Then we'll fly into outer space and....
Hey Bruce, where are you going?
Bruce Campbell (gonna find you!)
You can't hide from me!
I found your house on Google Maps
And just watched you go pee!
When I find you, I'm gonna clone you
Take your DNA against your will
I'll make 8,000 Bruce Campbells
To build a Bruce Campbellville
Bruce-Campbell-ville!
Bruce!
