Oscar Brand The Captain
[Verse 1]
The Captain stormed into the wardroom
And he threatened to lower the boom:
I don't mind the guests in the movies
But who laid that broad in my room?
[Verse 2]
The officers eat in the wardroom
The Captain won't eat with the mob
Oh, it's not that he eats any better
He don't want us to know he's a slob
[Verse 3]
Oh, here's to the ladies of Newport
And here's to the docks that they roam
And here's to their dirty faced children
God bless'em, they may be our own
[Verse 4]
And here's to the maidens of Brooklyn
Who stand at the navy yard rail
Now, they may not be Hollywood starlets
But they gave us our first piece of tail
[Verse 5]
Oh, honor the men of the Leyte
For bravery outside the line
Creating historical precedent
They buggered a small porcupine
[Verse 6]
And here's to the gallant Missouri
Whose complement loves to have fun
They bugger the stacks and the portholes
And even a sixteen-inch gun
[Verse 7]
Oh, the crewmen all sleep in their hammocks
The Captain, he sleeps in his bed
It's not that he sleeps any better
But he's twenty feet nearer the head