Monty Python Medical Love Song
Inflammation of the foreskin Reminds me of your smile. I've had ballanital chancroids For quite a little while. I gave my heart to NSU That lovely night in June. I ache for you, my darling, And I hope you get well soon. My penile warts, your herpes, My syphilitic sores. Your moenelial infection, How I miss you more and more. Your dobie's itch, my scrumpox, Our lovely gonnorrhea, At least we both were lying, When we said that we were clear. Our syphilitic kisses, Sealed the secret of our tryst. You gave me scrotal pustules, With a quick flick of your wrist. Your trichovaginitis Sent shivers down my spine; I got snail tracks in my anus When your spirochetes met mine. Gonoccocal urethritis, streptococcal ballinitis, meningo myelitis, diplococcal cephalitis, epididimitis, interstitial keratitis, syphilitic choroiditis, and antertior u-ve-i-tis. My clapped out genitalia Is not so bad for me, As the complete and utter failure Every time I try to pee. My doctor says my buboes Are the worst he's ever seen, My scrotum's painted orange And my balls are turning green. My heart is very tender Though my parts are awful raw, You might have been infected But you never were a bore. I'm dying of your love, my love I'm your spirochaetal clown, I've left my body to science But I'm afraid they've turned it down. Gonoccocal urethritis, streptococcal ballinitis, meningo myelitis, diplococcal cephalitis, epididimitis, interstitial keratitis, syphilitic choroiditis, and antertior u-ve-i-tis.
