Medical Love Song Lyrics

Monty Python Medical Love Song

Inflammation of the foreskin
Reminds me of your smile.
I've had ballanital chancroids
For quite a little while.
I gave my heart to NSU
That lovely night in June.
I ache for you, my darling,
And I hope you get well soon.
My penile warts, your herpes,
My syphilitic sores.
Your moenelial infection,
How I miss you more and more.
Your dobie's itch, my scrumpox,
Our lovely gonnorrhea,
At least we both were lying,
When we said that we were clear.
Our syphilitic kisses,
Sealed the secret of our tryst.
You gave me scrotal pustules,
With a quick flick of your wrist.
Your trichovaginitis
Sent shivers down my spine;
I got snail tracks in my anus
When your spirochetes met mine.
Gonoccocal urethritis, streptococcal
ballinitis, meningo myelitis,
diplococcal cephalitis, epididimitis,
interstitial keratitis, syphilitic
choroiditis, and antertior u-ve-i-tis.
My clapped out genitalia
Is not so bad for me,
As the complete and utter failure
Every time I try to pee.
My doctor says my buboes
Are the worst he's ever seen,
My scrotum's painted orange
And my balls are turning green.
My heart is very tender
Though my parts are awful raw,
You might have been infected
But you never were a bore.
I'm dying of your love, my love
I'm your spirochaetal clown,
I've left my body to science
But I'm afraid they've turned it down.
Gonoccocal urethritis, streptococcal
ballinitis, meningo myelitis,
diplococcal cephalitis, epididimitis,
interstitial keratitis, syphilitic
choroiditis, and antertior u-ve-i-tis.