Monty Python Bruce's Philosophers Song
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant Who was very rarely stable, Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy begger Who could think you under the table, David Hume could out-consume, Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel. And Wittgenstein was a beery swine Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel. There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya 'Bout the raising of the wrist. Socrates himself was permanently pissed. John Stuart Mill, of his own free will On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill. Plato, they say could stick it away, Half a crate of whiskey everyday. Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle, Hobbes was fond of his dram, And René DesCartes was a drunken fart "I drink, therefore I am." Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed, A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed.
