Mekons Psycho Cupid
My dad burnt the toast this morning. I came into the
kitchen and saw the cup of tea fall from his trembling
hands. Then he was crying among the fragments, piecing
nothing together. He said I was ungrateful. I had a bad
night last night. It was hard to sleep. The air felt
heavy. I was warm and dry for the first time in a long
while. It made me think back and I got confused. Dreams
and memories came mixed together. I saw a black crow
fly against a pink sky. In a dark room among big
statues somebody called you. They were wrapped in dirty
bandages. You answered in words I didn't understand.
You went to them in the shadows. This morning I'm not
so hungry. Somebody told me there's people who live in
their dreams. For them it's life that isn't real. I saw
your skin again last night it was clear and white. The
smell was in my nose and my stomach was tight. Mr
Scaggs appeared from over the heap of the hill and he
was richer than any of us with copper wire he'd found
in a secret place! People said he should share it like
we'd agreed but he wouldn't. He said he'd have a bed
that night. He laughed and said his belly would be
full. Then he shook the copper at them. They got mad
and fought him. Then someone picked up a stone and hit
him. And then they all did. Mr Scaggs got mashed up
really bad and his head was all over the place. I got
sick then. I wish there was somewhere I could go. My
arms and my legs weren't mine any more. The worse thing
was that -- not the loss of my money -- my legs, my
eyes they were no longer mine. My sex drew back into
itself tight and dry, closed up. I could not make my
thoughts. I'm scared that there's nowhere different.
They said they'll be clearing this place out soon.
Where can we go. I crave solitude. My hope and wishes
recede. I only want not to be. There was a dark green
tree in the corner with some big yellow flowers in
front of it. You kicked a ball over the fence. There's
got to be one breath after which there doesn't come
another.
