Maclean & Maclean Long Distance Daddy
I'm a Long Distance Daddy
Riding my pickup tonight
And I'm a 40 year old honky-tonk runner
With a honky-tonk whore for a wife
Spoken:
Well I jumped in my pick up and I drove to the fridge
and I got myself a beer. Then took a drive to Sonny's
room, he's the border...Guy who lives in the back.
There was my wife washing Sonny's face like I never
seen it washed before, i said,"..the f..ck's goin' on?
Spell it out for me!" She said, "I'm Sonny's little
honky-tonk whore." So, I kicked his B-A-Double L-S and
said, "Fuckin' spell that!" Sonny C-R-Y, ha. I said,
"Don't ever let me catch you hangin' around Kitty's P-
U-Double S-Y." She said, "TAKE YOUR P-R-I-C-K AND SHOVE
IT UP YOUR A-S-S!!!" I Said, "F-U-C-K-O-F-F!!" I jumped
in my pick up and I left!!
I'm a Long Distance Daddy
Riding my pickup tonight
And I'm a 40 year old honky-tonk runner
With a honky-tonk whore for a wife
Spoken:
It's like ah, you know like..ah, I left that f..ckin'
scene, I thought it was really weird, you know. She was
f..ckin' around on me, right? Bitch. And then like, 3
weeks... 3 weeks and the f..ckin' hom.. I'm on the road,
right. I'm on the road 'bout 3 weeks in the f..ckin'
homoside, right? Last night, I got off the stage in
Nashville, I'm standing by the door, right? And I walk
over and said, ah, I said "Can we get payed?" And he
turned around and he said, "You assholes came off 20
minutes early, I'm docking you 20 bucks!" 20 f..ckin'
bucks man, Jesus H. Christ thats my fulcrum margin, I
near f..ckin' killed him! And I grabbed him by the arm
to turn him around and these Goons he had in the
f..ckin' door, they leaped me, right? Next think I know,
I'm laying in the f..ckin' alley, My ax is broken, some
pricks ran off with my f..ckin' Timex and leaving me
with no f..ckin' insurance. The stage... you know the
white pants I wear? Dog shit down one f..ckin' leg, they
were f..cked , right? Those f..ckin' dogs! So, I went
back to my pick up right! A f..ckin' parking ticket for
20 f..ckin' dollars on the f..ckin' windshield!! Those
f..ckin' cops!! SO I DRIVE BACK TO THE MOTEL TO THIS
f..ckIN' HOLE I HAD TO LIVE IN FOR 20 f..ckIN' DOLLARS A
NIGHT WHERE SOME GUY'S PISSED ON THE BEDSPREAD RIGHT!
AND f..ckIN' LEECHES!!! AND I TURN ON THE f..ckIN' T.V.,
WHO'S ON ONE f..ckIN' CHANNEL, LOUSY BLACK AND
WHITE...EARNEST f..ckIN' AINSLEY!!!! "YEAH!! CURE
THIS,"I SAID, "AND I'LL CURE YOUR f..ckIN' ARSEHOLE!!!
AND I GRABBED MY CROTCH RIGHT!! THEN I HAD A HARD-ON SO
I HAD TO GO TO THE f..ckIN' WASHROOM AND BEAT IT OFF, I
WAS BEATIN' AND JACKIN' AND YOU KNOW WHAT!!! I COULDN'T
f..ckIN' CUM!! I SAID "YOU f..ckIN' PRICK EVEN YOU WON'T
GIVE ME ANY f..ckIN' PLEASURE, RIGHT!!" AND I GO BACK
AND I TRIED TO PHONE THE KIDS, EH! AND MY WIFE TO PATCH
THINGS UP!!! f..ckIN' KID ANSWERED, CALLED ME A CUNT AND
HUNG UP!!! I SAID, "YOU f..ckIN' KIDS!!!" BUT EVERYONE'S
A CUNT... THIS LOUSY f..ckIN' PLANET!!
I'm a Long Distance Daddy
Riding my pickup tonight
And I'm a 40 year old honky-tonk runner
With a honky-tonk whore for a wife
I'm a Long Distance Daddy
Riding my pickup tonight
And I'm a 40 year old honky-tonk runner
With a honky-tonk whore for a wife
And I'm a 40 year old honky-tonk runner
With a honky-tonk whore for a wife
