Lorraine Feather Waiting Tables
I came here hoping to be a Broadway star-
Another dimpled and dewy ingénue
Who wound up waiting tables.
When all humanity backs up at the bar,
Some nights, there's
Nothing I wouldn't rather do
Than be here waiting tables.
One Tanqueray and tonic, one B&B!
Guy looks a little hinky at table three.
One mango margarita, one rum and coke!
I'm swillin' down the coffee, I'm goin' for broke.
Friday's crazy!
Oh, Bembe, ajuda me
A limpiar la mesa, por favor?
It's tough but
Nobody's gotten me fired so far.
I'm pretty certain in time I could be
Truly good at waiting tables.
Hey! Hot plate!
Watch your back!
All the regulars like me,
I'm not without charm,
But I can't carry more than
Two trays on my arm.
(That's pretty hard-core)
Sometimes I stand frozen
In the middle of the floor,
Spaced-like there's something I've misplaced.
Might be my name,
Which now is apparently "Miss,"
Or a summoning finger-snap.
There's a lesson in this,
But I can't quite put my finger on it.
One Miller in the bottle, one J&B!
Guy's definitely trouble, at table three.
These maraschino cherries are gettin' gross.
I'm pullin' in a hundred, or real close!
Ordering, ordering!
Sad to say
The chef's gone AWOL
And I got a party of seventeen.
Sir, you should 86
The fat cigar.
Yeah, well, I promise you would be too if you
Were out here waiting tables.
Hey! Heads up!
Comin' through!
Oo-oo-oo-oo-ooh, comin' through!
By now I figured to be
A household name,
On stage and screen,
But I'll tell you what,
I've learned a lot from waiting tables.
Learned to handle
Several things at once, for instance,
And when a buck's not
Even ten percent.
I came here hoping to be a great big star-
Another dimpled and dewy ingénue
Who wound up waiting tables.
When all humanity backs up at the bar,
Some nights, there's nothing
I wouldn't rather do
Than be here waiting tables.
Friday's crazy!
Oh, Bembe, ajuda me
A limpiar la mesa, por favor?
Tanqueray and tonic, one B&B!
Guy's little hinky at table three.
One mango margarita, one rum and coke!
I'm swillin' down the coffee, I need a
Miller in the bottle, one J&B!
Definitely trouble, at table three.
These maraschino cherries are gettin' gross.
I'm pullin' in a hundred, or real close!
I moved here to
Keep an appointment with destiny,
And I'm still waiting.
