Lard Can God Fill Teeth
Don't ask me why But I was walking down the streets Of Fairfax, California And I saw this flyer hangin' On a telephone pole, and it said CAN GOD FILL TEETH? That's right! For a $10 "Donation" You could see silver fillings turn To gold and other "supernormal dental happenings." New caps! Filled cavities! Bring a Flashlight and a mirror to observe. But wait a minute - Didn't I just read About how the cops are getting parents To plant bugging devices In their kids teeth So if they disappear they can track 'em Before they wind up on the backs of milk cartons And all that - And didn't I read That these devices can go two-way And everything that I do or say Is all goin' on tape somewhere right now Planted in my cavities And they didn't even tell me No wonder every bad thing In and out of my mouth Keeps winding up on my employment record All those fillings All those crowns I'll show them Who's boss of my big mouth Where's the pliars God dammit! Where's the pliars?!? Wilma! Where'd you put my electric drill This is all coming out right now - TODAY! Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Must be some kind of conspiracy The whole world's a God damn conspiracy Look anywhere long enough, you're gonna find a conspiracy Man, LIFE is a conspiracy! Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! Needlenose Up my nose - Agh! - Where did all these wires come from? How far up into my skull do they go? I pull out more and more copper spagetti How'd my Weekly World News get all wet? God damn fishsticks melted again What are they trying to do to me? No secrets left in the land of the free! There No one's gonna tell me what to do It's worth eating baby food The rest of my life To be a free man Bastards: Probably wouldn't understand me anyway.
