John Kander What Kind Of Man
Georgia:
Oh my God!
Aaron:
Holy mother in heaven!
Carmen:
Holy shit!
Oscar:
What? The reviews aren’t good? What don’t they like?
Georgia:
That we put on a show!
Aaron:
The Boston Globe says,
“If you loved Oklahoma,
stay there as long as “Robbin’ Hood” is running in
Boston!”
Carmen:
Critics! Who’d make a living out of killing other
people’s dreams? I mean
(sung)
What kind of man would take a job like that
Oscar:
What kind of slob would take a job like that
Carmen and Oscar:
Who could be mean enough
Base and obscene enough
To take a job like that
Georgia (spoken):
Wait a minute! Here’s something in the Herald that
might be good!
“Formerly married composer and lyricist Aaron Fox and
Georgia Hendricks have provided film star Jessica
Cranshaw with a star vehicle ..
that ought to be driven off a cliff.”
Aaron (sung):
What kind of mom would raise her boy like that
Georgia:
Who’d want her baby to destroy like that
All:
Who could be jerk enough
Hard up for work enough
To want a job like that
Ohhhhhhhhhh what kind of low down dirty bum
Ohhhhhhhhhh what kind of swine-ish scurvy scum
Loathsome as they come, I wonder
Oscar:
What kind of man would want a job like that
Carmen:
What kind of putz would squeeze your nuts like that
Who could be prick enough
All:
Mentally sick enough
Who’d want to grow to be
Everyone’s enemy
Critics are hated and
So excoriated tell me
What kind of man
Would want a job like …
Oscar (spoken):
Hey, hey, hey, get a load of this—the Cambridge Patriot
says,
“Considering the talent and experience of the veterans
involved, ‘Robbin’ Hood’ is sure to be a huge Broadway
… smash.”
All:
What kind of genius has a mind like that
So perspicacious, wise and kind like that
Far from his mother’s knee
She must be thrilled to see
How he grew up to be
Such brilliant company
Refined and reflective
We’re completely objective
But it mists up your heart
To meet a man like that!
