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Florida Lyrics


Jerry Seinfeld Florida


Yeah, so Florida, I don't know... folks live down there,
as you'd assume. You know, they live in those minimum
security prisons, that's where they put all the old
people. What's with all the security there, with the
guard, gay, with the arm coming down, everybody's got a
uniform, guns,... Are the old people trying to escape,
or... are people stealing old people, what is the
security problem ?

I get very innerved by the way they drive down there,
that's why I don't like being in those communities,
because they drive slow, they sit low. That's their
model. The state flag of Florida should be just a
steering wheel with a hat and two knuckles on it.

I mean, there is nobody in the car, sometimes ! You just
see cars going by, "there was nobody in that car ! It was
a completely empty car !".

Always with the left turn signal on, from when they left
the house that morning. That's a legal turn in Florida,
it's known as an "eventual left".

What is the age that old people reach where they decide
when they back out of the driveway, they're not looking
any more ? Do you know how they do that, they just go
"well, I'm old... and I'm coming back ! I've survived,
let's see if you can".

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