Jerry Seinfeld Cab Drivers
So what's with the cab drivers and the B.O. ?
How long are these shifts ?
Do they ever stop or do they just get in the cab and
just drive 'till they're dead ? That's what it's
starting to smell like in some of these cars. You're in
the back there and you're going "oh man !" And then
they give you that... they have that cherry stuff...
the cherry "pop-it" on the dash, you know, so you get
the cherry B.O., which is supposed to be some sort of
improvement I guess, I don't know, I can't imagine
even... fruit going that long without showering.
And the way they're driving, they're so insane, you
could see they're upset ! I don't know what it's like
to drive a cab, it must be very difficult because
they're very upset, these people. And some times you
just wanna lean over that seat and go "what is
happening in your life, in your mind, that is making
you drive like this ?! Take it easy !"
To me the really funny thing about New York cabs is
that you never get that much scared... when you're in
the cab. I don't know why, something about being in
Manhattan. No matter how dangerous it seems... it's all
quite amusing in the back of that cab, isn't it ? He's
flying around the road, he's... doing 90 up a one-way,
and you're going... (amused) "I've never tried that in
my car !". It's all a huge joke ! It's your life. And
somehow it's all happening on TV there, it's all not
quite real.
The dumbest thing you can think in the back of a taxi
cab is "well I'm sure the man knows what he's doing."
Have you ever thought that ? "He is driving fast. And
quite recklessly. On bald tires. But after all he's a
professional. I guess he does this all the time. He's
got a license, I can see it right there".
I don't even know what it takes to get a cab driver's
license. I think all you need is a face. This seems to
be their big qualification. "That's the law now, no
blank heads are allowed to drive cabs". It also helps
to have a name with like, 8 consonants in a row.
What is that "o" with the line through it ? What letter
is that ? I don't remember that letter in school. You
need a chart of the elements if you wanna report the
guy. "Yes officer, his name was Ammal, and then the
symbol for boron... I believe. I had the periodic chart
with me at the time, I'm quite certain it was not
manganese".
