Jared Dines Bad Luck
[Verse 1]
I spent my last dollar on this chew in my cheek
And I don't get paid for at least a damn week
Wifi went out about an hour ago
So I can't watch the damn rodeo
Mud on my boots, can't keep my shirt clean
Sold my best guitar to buy a washing machine
Can't get no lovin' from the microwave oven
But my hungry man is frozen so I guess I'm eating nothin'
[Pre-Chorus]
Every dog, supposed to get his day
But joy is just a needle in a stack of hay
Misery is said to love company
Well ain't nobody ever gave a damn about me
[Chorus]
Yah I'm Bad luck, a walking tragedy
I'm the saddest son of bitch you don't ever wanna meet
I got a raw deal, and it's a damn shame
Catastrophic inconvenience is my middle name
I break mirrors, I'm walking under ladders
When I come into a room, everybody scatters
Nothin' goes my way, yeah I'm just stuck
With bad luck
[Verse 2]
My horse got fat and outgrew his saddle
The rain dun wreck my favorite ping pong paddle
Tried to milk my cows to churn my own butter
But the Heffer only had one big udder
Rooster keeps waking me up too early
First date went bad with my second cousin Shirley
Grandma ran her mower over my favorite steer
Godamnit I just knocked over my last cold beer
[Pre-Chorus]
I've been insulted by my own reflection
My last lover only left behind an infection
She'd be here if not for one sad factor
I couldn't get her off with the size of my… tractor
[Chorus 2x]
I'm bad luck, I'm a walking tragedy
I'm the saddest son of bitch you don't ever wanna meet
I got a raw deal, and it's a damn shame
Catastrophic inconvenience is my middle name
I break mirrors, I'm walking under ladders
When I come into a room, everybody scatters
Nothin goes my way, yeah I'm just stuck
With bad luck
[Reprise]
And it sucks
I'll probably end up marrying my truck
Bet you think this song is a lie
But I haven't slept for years without a good cry
Black cats follow every move I make
Trustin' me for anything's a damn mistake
Nothing goes my way, yeah I'm stuck
With bad luck
