Great Imitation The Tao Of Polite Crunk
Raise a glass of chardonnay, rejoice and relax, 'cuz
Great Imitation's making rap middle class
Now if you're proud to be a dork don't throw your hands
up in case you sprain something
You might prefer to just nod, along politely, because
we crunk politely and we might be likely perchance,
To improve a wedding reception or Tea Dance.
When our best song's blasted over the gramophone, the
once dancing crowd sits down loudly with a clunk.
This is the tao of . . . . . .
Polite Crunk might be liked by types that like white-
funk. Guardian subscription and get drunk, on a fruity
but bold bottle of boujele a month.
Ford-Focus owners can bump this shit at a moderate
volume while picking up their kids.
This is for all dorks of all ages, misanthropic
internet kids whose best friends are vvirtual
strangers.
Comb over blokes who by buying this are indicating an
impending, devestating midlife crisis.
Now ladies, if your lack of self esteem seems to allows
you to see through the fat, sweating and swearing act
to become attracted,
please remember this, we won't touch you because we're
in long term relationships.
That second best song comes on hospital radio, terminal
patients give up.
This is the Tao of Polite Crunk
Raise a glass of chardonnay, rejoice and relax, 'cuz
Great Imitation's making rap middle class
We think that urban act's apparel is absolutely
outrageous, they look like they're brain damaged, we
dress like estate agents.
Clothes so tight, pinstripes and bow-ties.
Most promoters are surprised when we bowl through the
doors at venues.
Wondering whether they've accidentally defected on rent
and we're here to deliver the news,
that a foreclosure notice has been presented on the
tenancy.
Now when we've explained the mistake the fact that
we've actually brought musical instruments as opposed
to a stack of legal documents.
Their relief at a lack of legal action is as apparent,
as their disappointment and distraction
that the camp bloke in a bow-tie thinks he's actually a
rapper.
That third best song goes on to disappointment.
This is the Tao of . . . . . . .
Polite Crunk is . . . . celebrating success with an
earl Grey and an early night
Polite Crunk is . . . . hiding in the toilets at the
very mention of a fight
Polite Crunk is . . . . a rigorous post-gig skin care
routine
Polite Crunk is . . . . best appreciated if you have a
degree
If you feel that this farce has reached it's
limitation, when I say Great, you say Imitation
