Flanders & Swann Twice Shy
It's all about shyness, it's called Twice Shy.
When a man comes bouncing into a pub With a couple of girls in tow, When he sets up a shout of 'Drinks all round And a table for six please, Joe!' When he kisses the barmaid, Knocks down the dart-board, Yells for the cabaret ... When you're wondering whether you might move on Someone is sure to say: I say, you know what his trouble is really, don't you? Underneath all that noise, he's really a very shy person.
He's shy, he's shy, Though he wears a fluorescent tie. With a deep-down need to assert himself, We know the reason why: He's shy, he's shy Give him another try: When you hear his voice in a crowded room And that laugh (Ha! Ha!) like a sonic boom, Go right on over to meet your doom 'Cause underneath he's shy, He's really terribly shy.
When it's Ladies' Night at the Carlton Club And a young woman comes in Smoking a six-inch Burmah cheroot And playing a violin-, When she leaps on a table, Strips off her sable, Shouting 'Who wants a lark?' Then the elderly member who signed her in Will tentatively remark: 'Yes, well I'm afraid she does tend to over-compensate for a basic lack of self-confidence.
She's shy, she's shy, She's as sensitive as you or I. Too bad she has to behave like this, It makes you want to cry. She's shy, so shy, We know the reason why. Though her private life is a public mess And she's written a book called, I Confess Still she looks quite sweet in her topless dress, And underneath she's shy, She's really dreadfully shy!
Well of course there are times when we're all ill at ease Though we try to act suave and cool-, When everyone seems to know everyone else It's just like that first day at school. It can be a nuisance Affecting insouciance, Trying to mix with the crowd: Knowing that one is probably talking just-that-tiny-little-bit-too-fast And laughing a lot too loud ...
MF: Well, where's the laugh then? DS: But I did it last time MF: Well, you do it again. DS: But there are people looking! MF: Well I'm not going to do it! For goodness' sake! DS: It's embarrassing. MF: Oh, it's like acting with Lassie!
We're shy, we're shy, You'll have spotted it with half an eye; And it does no good to conceal that fact, it's useless to deny: You're shy, I'm shy, However hard we try: Though we've got the music and words off pat, Every blessed time that we Drop Our Hat We can't help wondering what we're at - Cause underneath we're shy, We're really terribly SHY! Quick-let's-get-out-of-here!
We introduce a note of topicalia, inter alia. And I think one of the subjects most topical at the moment in all our minds is the subject of the commonwealth. The commonwealth, and whether England should leave it or not. We have a song about the commonwealth, it's called 'Commonwealth Fair'.
