Eric Schwartz Jesus Envy
Snow is falling in the city
Past the windows which cast a glow
Through the curtains, friends and flirtin’
Christmas trees and mistletoe
Snow keeps fallin’ in the city
Powdered sugar on the hats of passersby
And all I can do is eat Moo Shu
And cry, cry, cry
'cause I’ve got Jesus Envy
Jesus Envy
I remember each December
As the preparations reached a fevered peak
And the Tabors, my next-door neighbors
Would jump into high gear each Christmas week
And all their tree lights and other delights
Made my menorah look like someone’s cruel hoax
‘Til my shrink, Dr. Charoses made the diagnosis
And named the feeling that each Christmastime evokes
He called it Jesus Envy
Jesus Envy
Don’t get me wrong. I’m proud to be a member of the tribe
But I abhor Manischewitz all the more
With every glass of eggnog I imbibe
And I always give a dollar to the sidewalk Santas
As they ring their little bells outside the stores
'cause they say that Christmas isn’t Christmas without the Salvation Army
And herpes isn’t herpes without the sores
Old Ebenezer was a grumpy grouchy geezer
Who would rather lose a leg than spend a pound
One day I asked him why, and his answer was surprising
He said he couldn’t find a tzedakah box around
You see, old Ebenezer was really Eleazer
And he didn’t say “Bah Humbug
Just the baruch-hu
Maybe Ebenezer just had Jesus envy too
He had Jesus Envy
Jesus Envy
