Dane Cook The Bk Lounge
So many crappy- the first job I had, right. The first
job when I was uh
17 uh was Burger King. That was the first job that I
had, alright.
I didn't want to call it Burger King either cause like
yanno.
So I used to call it the BK Lounge. If the girls were
like...
Where do you work?..I was like I work down at the BK
Lounge.
I'm a bouncer at the BK Lounge.. Can we get in?
Not without coups. Not without coups baby.
So I get the job because my one older brother, my older
brother Darrell.
He's the manager and I'm like this is gonna be awesome
cuz my bro,
manager hooked me up.. He was a dick!
He thought he was THE Burger King! You know what I'm
saying?
He sucked! He would put me on drive thru every single
night.
Why to this day do people insist on yelling at the
drive thru?
It's modern technology. I'd have my little headset.
Welcome to Burger King. May I please take your order?
WHOPPER. Sir? WHOPPER NO ONION.
Excuse me, I'm f..cking bleeding from the ears here ok?
Let's turn the main down a tad, ok skidrow?
LARGE FRY MOTHAFUCKA! I CAN'T HEAR YOU BURGER KING!
ARE YOU READY TO ROCK BK BROILER?
I would rather have had people yell,
it was when people didn't talk loud enough. That drove
me CRAZY.
I'd have like 10 cars out there and I'd be like Hi Mam
May I please take your order?
*mumbles* some pickles, no no no cheese, uh extra
cheese, pickles
What do you want? What do you want?
*mumbles* bun seeds, no bun seeds
What do you want?... no no no no yes no cheese, extra
pickles
*mumbles* how much? eh cheese
Mam I can't-hello?...pickle, extra pickles, cheese, bun
seeds,
and pickles all my pickles and some extra pickly
pickles,cheese, pickles
OK are you trying to molest me via drive thru. What are
you saying?
Chicken tenders. Sweet and sour sauce on my pussy!
DRIVE AROUND GET SOME SAUCE DRIVE AROUND MAM
SAUCE SAUCE SAUCE she want's it her way. That's our
motto.
It's- come on sauce!
I took I took a lady's order one time. I'll never
forget this.
I go like this.. Mam. That'll be $3.75. Please drive
around.
And then there's like this long pause and then she
goes..
Where do I go? ...Where do you go?!
You follow the one f..cking road you're on to me!
Where do you Ok mam you're gonna go to the Texaco
station.
Take a right. Go 5 and a half miles southeast.
You're gonna see a guy in a yellow poncho. His name is
Hank.
He'll take you to the whopper Lair. That's where you
go.
And you've got 10 minutes to get there or we take your
food!
