Not So Kool-aid Lyrics

Dane Cook Not So Kool-aid

I'll tell you what dream used to scare me when I was a little kid
Used to actually totally give me nightmares:
Remember those kool-aid commercials?
Where that, no, that talking bowl of punch
He would come crashing through your f..ckin' wall in your living room?
You wouldn't even know it (crash)
Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Oh Yeah!
Right? And all the little kids were all excited. "Yes! Yes!"
And then they would drink out of him after debris fell in his open, dumb head.
He would pour himself. "Oh yeah! Oh yeah!"
Him and his crazy tights.
I don't like that. I don't like when juice wears tights.
It's a horrible combination, a bowl of juice wearing tights.
f..ck drinking out of him, if that was me I'd be like
"No, no, no. You fix that wall before my dad gets home from work.
He's gunna beat me with a belt,
He's not gonna believe a talking bowl of fruit punch came in here.
You stupid idiot.
Yeah comin' through the wall is real f..ckin' cool.
Using the front door is cool! Don't touch me you drink!
Don't touch me you giant beverage!
You are sweating or condensating,
I will kick you in the tights and you will go down your very top heavy.
You glass bitch.
You glass bastard."
"Oh yeah!"
"Oh no. Naughty, naughty kool-aid."
"Oh yeah?"
"No, no"
"Oh yeah?"
"No."