Clam Abuse Unlucky In Love
First there was Harry, I thought we’d get married
Get a house, Settle down, have a couple of kids
Took ill on the Sunday and died by the Monday
Tuesday they nailed down the lid
His first cousin Sammy fly in from Miami
to give me a shoulder on which I could cry
I was nearly a sinner, till one night at dinner
he choked on my mum’s apple pie
Unlucky in love, unlucky in love
All of my lovers reside up above
I hate to admit it, but when push comes to shove
I guess I’m unlucky in love
Johnny came later, the smooth operator
he fixed up the barn and he swept me away
Spontaneous combustion made quite a reduction
to any love made in the hay
For days I was grieving until I met Steven
who worked for the Salvation Army in town
but God gives diseases to whoever he pleases
and Stevens with Jesus right now
Unlucky in love, unlucky in love
All of my lovers reside up above
I hate to admit it, but when push comes to shove
I guess I’m unlucky in love
Timmy and Trevor had a car crash together
and Jack had a heart attack mowing the lawn
and then they found David with his head amputated
and they’re still out looking for Shaun
I guess it's quite clear that male genitalia
has never been more than unlucky to me,
so now I'm surviving because I'm muff diving
I'd like y'all to meet Anne-Marie.
Unlucky in love, unlucky in love
All of my lovers reside up above
I hate to admit it, but when push comes to shove
I guess I’m unlucky in love
Unlucky in love, unlucky in love
All of my lovers reside up above
I hate to admit it, but when push comes to shove
I guess I’m unlucky in love
