Chris Orrick Instinctive Drowning
[Chorus]
You are what you know
The problems sink deep to the bottom of your soul
And the world doesn't know
You're lost in the undertow
And those waves come strong
Swallowing the water
You can't say what's wrong
The surface looks calm
So the rest of them carry on
And you are what you know
The problems sink deep to the bottom of your soul
And the world doesn't know
You're lost in the undertow
And those waves come strong
Swallowing the water
You can't say what's wrong
The surface looks calm
So the rest of them carry on
[Verse 1]
I remember when the ambulance came
She was unresponsive
Dad was screaming her name
He tried to give her mouth to mouth
Nothing but green fluid she was coughing out
The f..cked up thing is we had been there before
I was scared the paramedics had her laid on the floor
They cut her shirt off
And had her chest bare
With his hand over her left breast
And then compressed there
Nothing
They put her in the ambulance and took off
None of us could talk
I think we felt it
We had known for years that she was helpless
But you can't ever prepare for it
Even with the shit she had been through
This was rare for her
They airlifted her to the hospital
She had pulled through before so it was possible
The doctor told us that her brain was dead
Seven minutes without oxygen the way it ends
Call the priest and have him pray again
Maybe God will save her then
Almost thirty years of alcohol abuse
She died on April 16th
Nobody put her in the news
Her name was Jody Ann
I felt the coldness of her body at the funeral the last time I would hold her hand
[Chorus]
You are what you know
The problems sink deep to the bottom of your soul
And the world doesn't know
You're lost in the undertow
And those waves come strong
Swallowing the water
You can't say what's wrong
The surface looks calm
So the rest of them carry on
And you are what you know
The problems sink deep to the bottom of your soul
And the world doesn't know
You're lost in the undertow
And those waves come strong
Swallowing the water
You can't say what's wrong
The surface looks calm
So the rest of them carry on
[Verse 2]
You think that I don't see the warning signs
Death by the bottle
I'm immortalized
On every corner there's a trigger for me
A big neon sign saying there's liquor pouring
A big neon sign just to remind me of it
A big neon sign saying my time is coming
Just shy of the age of when her liver failed
Most of my money been spent on liquor sales
And you can talk about the reasons
You can chalk it up to talking to my demons
Maybe it's something gone undiagnosed
Maybe I'm scared of suicide so I'm dying slow
Yeah, Mr. Slow Suicide
With his big f..cking heart and regret is in his eyes
It's only medicine
It's only something to feel better when my head is in
A f..cking tailspin and I hate myself
When I'm overwhelmed with life
And I can't save myself
Went from a little to a fifth a day
I just wanna go back
How did it get this way?
I just wanna go back how did it get this way?
I'm not f..cking stupid
I can't live this way
And what would Kath do without me?
What would Dad do without me?
Look what I would leave behind
But I feel like I'm losing my mind
I'm a loser
I sing the blues
I'm not doing too fine
The other night I had a dream
I'm in a car without a driver, in the passenger seat
And right behind me was my mother and a child
And I smiled
She hadn't come to see me in awhile
The thing about dreams is nothing is odd
We were flying down the Lodge
I was thinking about God
The mood started to change
Looked back and my mother slowly turned to remains
The baby was gone and I looked to my right
Out the window and they had taken the good in my life
And like a movie
A car had pulled up next to me
Couldn't tell who it was driving the hooptie
He pulled up ahead and pulled out a gun
I tried yelling
But my words wouldn't come
He points it at me then I hear from the sky
I'm gonna make you famous
I'm gonna make you famous
I'm gonna make you famous
I'm gonna make you famous
I'm gonna make you famous
I'm gonna make you famous
And then came the sh...