Buffy The Vampire Slayer I'll Never Tell
Songwriters: Whedon, Joss Hill;This is the man that I plan to entangle
Isn't he fine?
My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle
Vengeance was mine
But I?m out of the biz
The name I made I'll trade for his
The only trouble is I?ll never tell
She is the one, she's such wonderful fun
Such passion and grace
Warm in the night when I?m right in her tight
Embrace, tight embrace
I?ll never let her go
The love we've known can only grow
There's just one thing that, no
I?ll never tell
'Cause there's nothing to tell
He snores, she wheezes
Say, housework and he freezes
She eats these skeezy cheeses
That I can't describe
I talk, he breezes
She doesn't know what please is
His penis got diseases from a Chumash tribe
The vibe gets kind of scary
Like she thinks I'm ordinary
Like it's all just temporary
Like her toes are kind of hairy
But it's all very well
'Cause, god knows I'll never tell
When things get rough
He just hides behind his Buffy
Now look, he's getting huffy
'Cause he knows that I know
She clings, she's needy
She's also really greedy
She never, his eyes are beady
This is my verse
Hello?
She look at me
I'm dancin' crazy
You know, you're quite the charmer
My knight in armour
You're the cutest of the scoobies
With your lips as red as rubies
And your firm yet supple tight embrace
He swell, she's sweller
He'll always be my feller
That's why I?ll never
Tell her that I?m petrified
I?ve read this tale
There's wedding
Then betrayal
I know there'll come the day
I'll want to run and hide
I lied, I said it's easy
I?ve tried but there's these fears I can't quell
Is she looking for a pot of gold?
Will I look good when I?ve gotten old?
Will our lives become too stressful
If I?m never that successful?
When I get so worn and wrinkly
That I look like David Brinkley
Am I crazy?
Am I dreamin'?
Am I marrying a demon?
We could really raise the beam
In makin' marriage a hell
So, thank god I'll never tell
I swear that I?ll never tell
My lips are sealed
I take the fifth
Nothing to see
Move it along
I?ll never tell
