Zach Sherwin Pill Bugs
I had this girl, and when we would spend the night, y'all
She slept curled up on her side in a tight ball
I told her she reminded me of those lil' bugs
Some call 'em roly polies, some call 'em pill bugs
Some say sow bugs, some say potato bugs
She said, "That's what I make you think of? I hate those bugs!
They're disgusting." I said, "They're great! I love 'em"
She said, "Name one reason why"
I said, "Here's five of 'em"
Five reasons why your lady love
Should be flattered if you compare her to a potato bug
Girls, don't take it as a snub
It's praise to be embraced with hugs
Don't hate, they're great bugs
(Five) Five reasons why pill bugs are ill bugs
(Five) Five reasons why sow bugs are wow bugs
(Five) Five reasons why you're being praised highly, not lowly
If you're compared to a roly poly
1. Pill bugs are harmless to humans
2. Their legs move in a soft little blur
3. They crawl non-threateningly
They do not dart, jump, or fly, no sir
4. You mostly see them one at a time
No swarming, but the cutest reason may be this:
The way they curl up when you touch them in the middle
Reminds me of a baby's fist, it's adorable
My girl was cool with all five
She rolled over on her side, and she rolled up mollified
But, as I lay there, I couldn't slow my heart rate
Cause I kept thinking, "Pill bugs really are great"
So I hopped out of bed, hopped on the internet
And the things I read there blew my mind into shreds
Here's the results of my research, you best be believin'
I came up with five more reasons
Why pill bugs are chill bugs
(Five) More reasons why sow bugs are blaow bugs
(Five) More reasons you can say, "Holy moly!"
If you're compared to a roly poly, okay
6. The scientific names for these guys would be
Armadillidiidae
That's A-R-M-A-D-I-L-L-I-D-I-I-D-A-E
(Whoo...) And they make great pets
They can live for two years if you keep them somewhere dark and wet
And reason number eight is if you have a pet tarantula
Apparently they're good for cleaning cages
Cause they eat spider crap
Next, through my investigations
I learned a useful vocab word for conversations
The process of rolling your body up into the shape of a ball is called "conglobation"
Nine good reasons these bugs deserve props
But the tenth puts them over the top
Consider this one last point:
Without the pill bug, I never would've written this bumpin' ass joint
Party people get live for me
As I switch up the flow for variety
Conglobate your hand to a fist like this
Put it up in the sky for me
Don't just sit there quietly
Move side to side excitedly
As I put that mad ill into Armadillidiidae
