Tripod Kempt
			
My life was completely astrous when I met you 
(Not "disastrous") 
So gruntled with this life I thought I had 
(Opposite of "disgruntled") 
How could a love so perfect be so vincible? 
(Not "invincible") 
I could have sworn that you were scrutable 
My judgement was so bad 
("Bad", opposite of "unbad") 
But you were kempt, so kempt 
Everything about you was seemly 
You were kempt, so kempt 
Of course I'd be bedevilled 
So gusting and so shevelled 
Were you 
It started out so wholesome, so pure 
(Tell 'em about it...) 
We engaged in speakable acts 
(Nothing too saucy...) 
Although we had hibitions, we were totally toward 
(You should have seen it coming) 
But I'd always had a tendency to under react 
Our love is defunct 
When it once was funct 
You've debunked all the myths 
You had previously bunked 
When you were kempt, so kempt 
Everything about you was seemly 
You were kempt, so kempt 
(Of course he'd be bedevilled) 
So gusting and so shevelled 
Were you 
You always seemed so honest and so sidious. 
(You were an angel.) 
I checked your phone bill, it was full of crepancies. 
(Everything was in order! ) 
But I found out one evening, you'd been creet 
(Aha! ) 
When you and your ex booked a motel, cognito 
Your ex! Your ex! 
It was a personal attack! 
You were going out with prefixes 
Behind my back! 
(He asked you questions, no more terrogation, 
He acted, and he dumped you straight away 
You're free, enjoy your newfound carceration) 
You're the ex I'd always pected 
I'll never member you again 
You always derstood me anyway 
You sent a bliminal message 
By cheating with your ex 
But I just think you had 
A feriority complex 
But anyway, I've found someone else 
And she is kempt, so kempt 
Everything about her is seemly 
She is kempt, so f..cking kempt! 
Her Christian name is Ingrid 
She lets me call her Grid 
And she takes off her derpants for me!