Scrubs The Rant
Patti: Dr. Cox, I'm not crazy! Dr. Cox: Am I still
singing?
Patti: Singing like a bird
J.D: Dr. Cox, huge news!
I pulled some strings and got the parking spot right
behind yours!
Bumper buddies!
Dr. Cox: Still, you're not ne-he-hearly as bad as her
Do you know how much you annoy me?
The answer is a lot
Should I list the reasons why?
Well, I don't see why not
It's your hair, your nose, your chinless face You
always need a hug
Not to mention all the manly appletinis that you chug
That you think I am your mentor just continues to
perplex
And, oh my God, stop telling me when you have nerdy
sex!
J.D: Oh, by the way, last time Kim was in town, we got
some appletinis and poured 'em on her good parts!
Dr. Cox: See now, Newbie, that's the thing you do that
drives me up a tree
'Cause no matter how I rant at you, you never let me
be!
So I'm stuck with all your daydreaming, your wish to be
my son
It makes me suicidal and I'm not the only one
No, I'm not the only one
Janitor: It all started with a penny in the door
There was a hatred I had never felt before
So now I'll make him pay, each and every day
Until that moussed-haired little
nuisance...is...no...more
Dr. Cox: So now that is why I call you names like
Carol, Jane, and Sue
Like Moesha, Kim, and Lillian, Suzanne and Betty-Lou
See, regardless of the names I pick, my feelings are
quite clear
You're a pain in every day of every month of every
year!
Patti: Dr. Cox, you gotta help me, 'cause I really am
distressed!
Can't you find another option, won't you run another
test?
Dr. Cox: If you want some kind of favor, really any
kind of favor
Please just get me peace and quiet from this God-
forsaken pest!
J.D: I think what my bumper-buddy is trying to say...
Patti: Shut your cake-hole, Mary-Beth, or I swear to
God I'll shut it soon!
Dr. Cox: Congratulations, we'll schedule your test this
afternoon
