Mail Order Magic Lyrics

Roger Chapman Mail Order Magic

Two dozen bottles of No. 9
One magic ring for the hypnotizing
Slugs snails and a Chinaman’s tooth
One webbed foot from a spotted goose

I’m going through hell

Trying to put a spell on you

Mail order magic

Mail order magic

There’s a worn out pouch from a kangaroo

A voodoo dolly with a weird hairdo

An original copy of Aladdin’s lamp

This mail order magic ain’t worth a stamp



Well oh well

Got to pin a tail on

Well oh well

Got to get to Salem

Well oh well

Maybe they can sell me

How to put a spell on you



Well I’m sitting up to my arse

In legless lizards & sader grass

Potions, pills all of this junk

I’d send it all back

You know there’s no refund



I got a dead dogs donga from Shepherds Bush

I got Pharoahs scarab from Hollywood

But the only thing happening in this here pad

This mail order magic is driving me mad



Mail order magic

Mail order magic