Phish Fee
In the cool shade of the banana tree
On the rugged trail toward the balcony
A child of the twentieth century
A dried up Goliath and a weasel named Fee
Far away in another place
A fading beauty named Milly Grace
A gospel singer with pocks on her face
And a bamboo cane to help her keep the pace
Fee was a Buddhist prodigy
Long past the age of maturity
Someday he knew it would set him free
Like it did for Floyd the chimpanzee
Oh, Fee, you're trying to live a life
That's completely free.
You're racing with the wind
You're flirting with death
So have a cup of coffee
And catch your breath
Fee first met Milly in a bar in Peru
His heart was jumping like a kangaroo
Like a beast in a cage in an old Dutch zoo
It was hopping and thumping in wooden shoes
But Floyd was jealous and alone
He wanted Milly for his own
A desperate craving in his bones
"Their love", he said, "I will not condone."
Then one day on a ship to Quebec
Floyd found Milly on a lover's trek
He picked up a bottle and broke off the neck
It sliced through the air, and Fee hit the deck
Oh, Fee, you're trying to live a life
That's completely free
You want to stay with Milly
Until you're dead
But you just got a bottle
Upside your head
Milly turned and began to scream at Floyd
She said "You think you're pretty mean"
And though she was as thin as a small string bean
She slammed him in the face with a nectarine
Floyd fell back over the edge of the ship
Till he hung from the rail by his fingertip
Milly said, "Floyd I'll make you lose your grip
With this tiny piece of paper I can make you slip"
So Milly took that paper and did the deed
Floyd hit the water with astonishing speed
And as the sharks circled and began to feed
Milly knew her weasel was finally free
Oh, Fee, you're trying to live a life
That's completely free
Floyd is dead; he's nothing but a ripple
Cause Milly took that paper
And sliced him on the nipple
