Paul Heaton 10 Lessons In Love
You Keep 'em busy talking
and they probably won't notice your weight (That's 1)
No one counts the acres in the field
when they're swinging on gate
Distracting their attention is achieved
with a worrying ease
They can't taste the fruit
if they're too busy swinging the trees
The scar you conceal
the stretch marks covered up at all times
Won't ever surface if you shag him
and start talking star signs (That's 2)
There's a thousand sweeping statements that you can use
before he reaches the bra
And if he's colse to unhooking the truth
whisper "Time at the bar" (That's 3)
If you brush up on History and Science
he'll be able to blag
The "She's too intelligent" or
"She's just a friend we don't shag" (That's 4)
Don't wave him goodbye
Don't say you'ss see him around (5 - 6)
Knowing he'll say you were a pig
when he thought you were sound
And if all 10 lessons in love
weighed a stone a piece
You'd be bigger and more beautiful
and hiding men in every crease
Hooking men is easy
losing them is tougher by far
Cause if they're drunk enough to f..ck you
then they wont be driving home in thier car
So get him in a cab, make him pay
drag him into your flat (That's 7)
Keep him topped up with whatever
got you as far as that (That's 8)
And in the morning when he opens his eyes
let it all hang down (That's 9)
Then time how long it takes him to ask
for a taxi to town
Don't wave him goodbye
Don't say you'ss see him around (5 - 6)
Knowing he'll say you were a pig
when he thought you were sound
And if all 10 lessons in love
weighed a stone a piece
You'd be bigger and more beautiful
and hiding men in every crease
One night stands
shouldn't fill themselves with shame
Maybe just a promise next time
to take a steadier aim
Why every guy denies
receiving 1st prize
Like its pumpkin or marrow at fayre
not a human with eyes
Don't wave him goodbye
Don't say you'ss see him around (5 - 6)
Knowing he'll say you were a pig
when he thought you were sound
And if all 10 lessons in love
weighed a stone a piece
You'd be bigger and more beautiful
and hiding men in every crease
Trapped by the mob he'll confess
that he stayed the whole night
But only agreed
after putting up a hell of a fight
And if you leave him your e-mail address
it's a pretty safe bet (That's 10)
He'll be hiding his computer
and denying ever using the net
